Have a !#?@*% new year!


Lots and lots and LOTS of people think that resolutions for the new year are an idea that went out with the aw hell, i just spilled coffee on myself. Be back in a sec.

So ... resolutions are generally out. They went out with something quirky and forgotten from the 80's. Like Q*bert. But no matter if today you drum up a list of all the ways you're going to improve your life and plant lots of trees and somehow weigh less than you did when you were 8 years old, or if instead you disregard the notion of resolutions (or "goals" if that's easier to take on) and just get silly drunk and wake up "fun"gover (see what I did there?) there are a few universal truths no matter what:

1. The year according to Pope Gregory XIII will end tonight and we will begin a fresh one. So drink up the slurry at the bottom of your can of whatever and get ready to crack a freshie.
2. You'll have to start writing a new year on your documents, kids' reading logs, journal entries, checks, art projects, passed out frat buddies, etc. You'll have to do this because it is indeed a NEW YEAR.
3. You can make the choice to be a nicer, kinder, more educated, more hygienic person at any time. You can also make the choice to be more cynical, eat more burgers, buy lots of Apple products, and stop chewing on your toenails at any time. These things are not calendar based.
4. You cannot make the choice to be younger. I mean you can. But it won't work. What you can absolutely do is agree to make getting older a lot more awesome. Your body won't always have the same agenda as your Audrey Hepburn attitude, and when it doesn't, respect that, too. And give it a new tattoo.
5. "Better" is not a goal. I will not be a better mom in 2013. I will also not be worse. I will, however, make a goal of physical activity with my kids. Down on the floor with a smooshed up box of chutes n ladders or somersaults across the twiggy lawn. I'm going to be more there and less right here, hunched over a keyboard. That's something I can measure by the scuffs on my knees and the leaves in my hair.

I don't know exactly if those are universal truths. Given that we're largely divided on what exactly truth is and that we collectively possess nothing shy of a zillion interpretations of the universe, I'm pretty sure those 5 bullet points are like fleas on a wooly mammoth. Tiny by comparison. And only relevant if they make you itch.

But as this is the closing of one year and the opening of another, I do want to wish the following for every single one of you people who have read this far  ... please don't leave yet I'm about to use italics:

To always know that you are loved. To never doubt that you're here for a reason, a reason that does not need to be defined or written down or stated out loud. Your reason is no less important than any other person's reason. Not the jagoff in the Land Rover who parked like an asshole at the grocery store. Not the mom who yelled at her kids in the movie theatre line. Not the under-secretary to the secretary to the Executive Assistant to the CEO of Monsanto. If you ever feel like you doubt your relevance, or feel unloved or unlistened to, find the one person in your life that has seen some of your dirty sides, grab them by the shoulders, hug them hard, and say "I love you. Thank you for loving me." And if you don't have that person, pick one. Any one. Some random knucklehead on facebook that you haven't seen in 10 years. Tell them that you love them and you're glad they're in your life. And if you don't have that person, then pick me. Call me, text me, email me, facebook me, leave a blog comment, tweet me and just say whatever you need to, and I'll respond with words or an ear or a hug. I promise that for 2013. You get back what you put out in to the world. It may not come back to you in the same abundance, but you'll feel your own presence for just having put it out there. And your presence means more than you know.

Tonight at midnight I will kiss passionately and high five ferociously. I will also do that tomorrow. Likely after coffee and a thorough mouth cleansing. I wish the same for all of you. Happy New Year.

seriously. i'm here for you. 


Comments

Timothy Scott said…
You used jagoff in a blog and Q-Bertified your pic and I loved you before that. It's so on for 2013.
Kelli McKee said…
If only I had photoshopped the pic so it said 2013 instead of 2000. Alas, distraction won. Thank you for loving me.

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