Making the bed

The bed has to be right or I can't even begin to fall asleep. 

The fitted sheet must be pulled taut, the flat sheet should always be positioned in a proper rectangle, not sideways or twisted or heavens forbid touching the floor. Gently tucked into the foot of the bed, but no hospital corners so my feet can at least slide from left to right. I've loosened up in that way at least. 

The comforter must also be angled properly and adjusted so that the overhang on the left side matches in length to the overhang on the right side. The flat sheet pulled up and folded back over the top of the comforter, so now the bedding can work as a team. If the duvet cover has flowers, the flowers must be pointed toward the head board. On this particular detail I am not alone. Monica Geller once told her boyfriend Richard that the flowers must point toward the headboard because that would be where the sun is, of course, and in that episode I found a true friend. 

And finally the pillows must be fluffed, their cases smoothed and tugged so that they wont reveal their incriminating tags and face stains underneath. Then I will stack one on top of the other, and on this I don't particularly have a solid nagging preference as to who gets to ride on top, the osmotic recipient of my Dr Who dreams. 

And then, so long as the lunches are made, the coffee ground, the cat fed and accounted for, client work comfortably on schedule, texts returned, inbox mostly empty, bladder drained, cookie eaten, contraceptive swallowed, contacts removed, vinyasa flowed, temperature adjusted to be not too cold, not too hot, and feet cleaned and lotioned, I can sleep. 

Unless it's allergy season. And then none of it fucking matters.


Freya said…
If you just slept on top of it, you wouldn't have to do this every day.
Ugh, god no Freya. I MUST have a blanket on top of me, even if it's 110 degrees and I'm sweating from my eyeballs.
westmetromommy said…
I'm the same way in that I *have* to make the bed every day. The rest of the house may be a disaster (it usually is), but the bed must be made!

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